This one is for you...

Welcome back guys!

This one is for you... guys out there the over thinkers, the emotional and hopeless romantics.

Let's talk about what the word "relationship" means to some people, and how different it is from the word "love". How todays society has painted a false idea of how it is "supposed to be" and how much that affects people. How much it makes us seem like we are not worthy of the kind of relationships that social media portrays and how much the word "love" is thrown out there. I am in no way shape or form a love guru, nor do I mean to sound like I know what it is suppose to be or that I have it all figured out. This is just what through the years I have learned and experienced to get me to think the way I do today.

In order for me to feel comfortable speaking about the words relationship or love I have to tell you, I am absolutely a hopeless romantic. I am that girl that watches the love movies and cries, that loves the lovey dovey moments and lives for a good love story. I am just also very aware that those things are just in the movies and as much as I will continue watching them, and continue loving them. It is never what I expect in real life and neither should you.

Because real love is a lot more complex than that.

It is filled with less love letters and more " I got your backs".

With less romantic kisses and more "I understand yous"

Less "he is my boyfriend/girlfriend" and more "He/She is my person"

Love is what makes the world a better place in my opinion and yes I know that there is more to life than just loving someone. There is also loving yourself, loving your life, your family. This time around I do want to leave the self love behind, just because no matter what, it should always be part of you where ever you go. This time around though I want to talk about when you meet someone, when you meet a person who just gets you. When does it go from "I like you" to "I love you" and how do you maintain that love through it all, because life is hard as it is. We go through personal things and we battle our own demons everyday. So how can we live with someone else's demons by our side as well? Are we conditioned to think we need someone or that we need to find the "right person" the one that you will marry and have 3-4 children with, build a family and grow old together?

We talk about it all the time that we are in 2020 now and that marriage is an old school thing. Who wants to be tied down to one person or just love one person for the rest of their life? Thats how old movies show it, you meet that one person that you fall in love with and even before you say "I do" you are already expecting. The mother becomes a housewife and continues to have children and the father works and provides for the family.

That is not how we view it now a days though, people do not want to get tied down. Most families are broken because people have children and never get married or end up with baby mammas or baby daddies. The word love is thrown around and means nothing to most people and well for the words "relationship" and "marriage"... no one believes in titles. So why do we still get upset when we see the "perfect couple" on instagram, or when you realize that love never seems to be in your favor and it does for others?

What if we changed the idea of what love is?

Love for me? well...

It's understanding that the other person is not perfect, that the other person is going through life just like you are. It is being there for them when they fall time and time again and not judging them when they make a mistake. It is not having expectations and not falling "in love" with the idea of a person but for who they actually are in their rawest form. Not caring how you feel it is suppose to be or how people will see you but standing strong with the bond that got you together in the first place. It is being able to sit next to that person at their worst and looking at them and not understanding and believing how you got the privilege to be in the same fucked up life time as them. Understanding that it will not be perfect all the time, that it will not be easy and that even on the toughest of times you will love them. It will not be a forced commitment, and you will not need any vows, you just do.

"In the end, only three things will matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." - Buddha

"Relationships" what does that even mean?

At fifteen or sixteen it means that the boy or girl you liked and had a crush on asked you to be his/her girlfriend or boyfriend. You tell everyone that you are "going out" and you write their name with little hearts in your notebook and hand (or was that just me?). If you get lucky enough to last a while with your high school sweetheart, then you move on to a more serious relationship in your twenties, filled with complicated situations and not one is the same. If you do not get into one fast enough then you date a lot of people and question the idea of love a lot, you feel it is never going to happen to you and sometimes even accept it. As for when you are older, I cannot speak for it since I am only twenty-four, but you get the idea that all through out our lives the word "relationship" means different things. Yet it is not what defines "love".

Ever heard the saying "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." I honestly do not know who said it but boy is it true. We need to stop forcing things, never force anyone into your life, do not force a situation or "relationship". Do not let social media blind you from the good things in life, live in the moment and live YOUR moment, everyones is different. Do not miss out on experiences with people. LOVE! what ever that means to you, if you care about someone tell them, show them and feel it. Do not be afraid of getting hurt for if and when you do you should understand, it is part of life but when you look back you will know you gave it all your love and it will be okay.

Don't give up on people so easily, and do not allow yourself to be filled with hate and disappointment. We all know "Rome was not build in a day" (I also do not know who said that but you get the point). It is not suppose to be easy. Buddhism teaches us that you have to go through suffering and accept it, in this case though if you believe in the love you have for that person then do not give up on them. When I say that, I do not mean get stuck waiting for something that is not going to happen or not move one from a toxic situation. I mean love that persons decisions even if you do not agree with them completely, love their lows and their mistakes. Love the person they are and all their demons. As long as you do not let it stop you from loving yourself.

"Being deeply loved gives you STRENGTH, loving deeply gives you COURAGE." - Lao Tzu

It is so easy to write a blog about how you should always love yourself first, which you should. To write about how there are plenty of more fish in the sea and that no one dies of a broken heart, you should not be going through pain and love should not be so hard. I have read so many blogs telling me that if I were to be faced with a certain situation to choose myself and walk away. To me that is the easy route out...

So this is a letter from the hopeless romantic, and whether you relate to me, agree with me or not. If you have made it this far. I am telling you that sometimes there is love worth fighting for, that not one "love" story is ever the same as the next and that if you are lucky enough to find "your person" It is okay to accept to love them through their worst, it is okay. It will be okay. What ever "love" means to you.

This is mine.

Thank you guys for reading, see you next time! Stay Positive!

-Namaste

(Daisy Gonzalez)