FINDING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE [Soul Finding]

[You drink coffee now

Baths seem like your only peaceful and alone time

Slow walkers annoy you

You fought the Dunkin' lady because she put regular milk instead of almond

Cleaning is your number one hobby]

"PASSION IS THE BRIDGE THAT TAKES YOU FROM PAIN TO CHANGE." - Frida Kahlo

Lets talk about something...

You wake up one morning and life just does not seem to be going the way you thought it would at this age. In a few months you're turning twenty-five and half a decade has passed. You seem to be in the same boat you were at the start of your twenties and that honestly sometimes brings you down.

You want to make a change, to make the second half of your twenties different and have a purpose. Accomplish those other things you always wanted, but we all know it is easier said than done. I am there with you.

I tend to ponder a lot and have mini existential crisis. Sometimes a few times a week other times I am not ashamed to say it, a few times a day! but that is okay. It keeps me on my toes and allows me to question myself, to self reflect and ask myself what I want my next move to be and if I am happy where my life is headed. It is no secret that I have dealt with the answer to that question for a few years now. That is why I decided to talk about this, for the people out there like me who have a little bit more difficult time with this rollercoaster ride we call life. Sometimes we do not realize we are only in our mid twenties because we are so conditioned and influenced by social media and reality television to think we should have had everything figured out by now. I know I was one to think I had to get it right from the beginning, fresh out of High School pick a career and four years later get a bachelors degree to then become a professional by twenty-five. When that did not happen and I dropped out of college at twenty, I thought I had failed myself and made the worst mistake of my life. Nonetheless I made the best out out it and spent the next five years working different jobs, meeting different people and learning a lot of different things. New skills that I hoped would eventually help me choose the right path and learn things about myself.

So you are probably asking yourself what exactly do I mean by soul finding. What does that have to do with having a mid twenties existential crisis (like I like to call it).

I like to believe that it is the little things in life that make everything worth while. The little things through out the day that help you make it though your work shift, and the struggles we all face. Like the morning coffee runs, and the beautiful sunsets on your commute home. I started focusing more on how much those moments meant to me, instead of the bill that just came in the mail that I have not paid or the rude coworker that makes it his or her life mission to annoy me (I know we all have one of those at our jobs). Focusing on those things only make you more miserable and make you question yourself a lot more.

The journey of soul finding is to find those small things I am talking about, whether it is something that you love to do and never make the time for or learning a completely new hobby that you have been wanting to learn. When you have hobbies like these and make time for them, you allow yourself to pause your chaotic life, and the stress of work and bills. You allow that side of who you are out and go in search of a much deeper and profound YOU! (Btw have you seen the Netflix series YOU, I am sure most people have, if not you have to get on that and watch it now!).

Anyways, there are a million things I believe are useful when it comes to soul finding, like making sure you save up and take yourself on that vacation you have always been dreaming of. Also changing that job yo are in that you hate so much as scary as it sounds. Changing it for something that might feel right and gives you the mind space to do what you love and work on yourself.

"SELF CONTROL IS STRENGTH. RIGHT THOUGHT IS MASTERY. CALMNESS IS POWER." - BUDDHA

It is February 2020 now and this year I turn twenty-five, I was meditating a few days ago and I started looking back at the first five years of my twenties. What I have done and what I had accomplished, all the decisions I made and the things I learned. I am not a person to regret things, as cliche as it may sound I really do take them as lessons and own up to the fact that some were probably the worst decisions of my life, and literally taught me nothing.

No shame to admit time:

Career wise I am about to make four years at a job that I do not like. I think and realize I have so many qualities and skills I could possibly apply else where and make a career out of things I love. Like many I blame life and make millions of excuses for why I have not actually made the move.

In relationships I am probably the worst person to come to. It is truly the most complicated aspect of a persons life in my opinion (but that is a topic that deserves its own blog, don't you think?).

Financially, well... let's just say we are still learning along the way how to manage and get by. Coming from someone that has made mistakes and learned from them, what to do and what not to do when it comes to your money. I think the best advice I could ever give is to ask questions. If you really do not know something, ask someone you trust will give you most honest answers and advise. We are all victims of how much this world depends on money and unfortunately it has a hold on us.

So as I sat down and continued meditating and finished looking at the past five years, the term soul finding manifested itself to me. I decided to look at the next five years and truly meditate where I wanted to see myself. We will always learn as we go, and it is not realistic to make a plan as being spontaneous and allowing controlled chaos into my life is probably one of the things I am really good at. Though for some people planning is the way to go, this might be something you guys do on a daily basis. For those like me though that we are just riding the wave as we go.. This one is for you.

With the right intentions:

I want the next five years to be empowering!

In life we will encounter obstacles, challenges and people that will test us. Know that the biggest obstacle you should have is yourself. To be in a friendly battle and push yourself to never give up. When it is time to look back, the only person you will ever need to thank is YOU!

and with that SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

"THE EYES ARE THE WINDOWS TO THE SOUL" - William Shakespear

- Namaste

(Daisy Gonzalez)